God, I don’t understand why things happened this way. I am in so much pain. I’ve asked You to deliver me, but you allow me to remain in these circumstances.
Just wait, I can hear you saying. Just watch what I am going to do.
I find myself responding like the man in the Bible who said to Jesus, “Lord, I believe… Help my unbelief!”
I am choosing to trust you. It is difficult, but I am choosing to do it because I know that you love me. I can feel your love. I can feel you all around me. In you I am living and moving. It is in you that I exist. I can’t hope to do anything apart from you. I tried to live like that for a while, after getting confused about who you are. I saw you as being harsh and merciless… And, in time, I gave up. But that wasn’t really you… And you were faithful. Even when I stopped being faithful to you, you stayed faithful to me. You never left me, never forsook me. You were always here, protecting me, even through all of my anger and rebellion.
You are so good. I can’t even begin to think about trying to understand how patient you are. Your love is so unconditional.
My love isn’t like that. Not yet. But it’s changing.
As the old me dies and you rise up within me, my love is being conformed into the image of your perfect agape self.
My words could never thank you enough for how good you have been to me.
