Jesus, I want to believe in your mercy and love as ferociously as I have believed in your holiness and judgment. I want to choose life as strongly as I have feared death.
Fear has come so naturally to me. I’ve not been without bravery, but bravery can only exist because of fear…and I don’t want to be brave, per se. I want to be fearless. I don’t want to white knuckle it. I don’t want to be holding on for dear life. I want love and peace to radiate as freely and naturally from me as light from the Sun. I don’t just want it…I need it.
I feel as though I can’t exist anymore without it. And yet, I know it’s something I already have, and that I need to learn to look past the illusions that dance and threaten…this is something I need to choose to know, something I must consistently decide to want to believe…we can be so fickle, we humans, with our fragile minds and our simple flesh.
Consistency, then, is the key.
Who am I when no one is looking? What kind of a person am I when all hope seems to have fled, and there appears to be nothing left to lose?
I choose to know who you made me to be, and I choose it now and always.
